From AKAELA (the Mayake Chronicles Book 1), Prologue:
I reach the top of the ridge and climb over the edge.The above is my Sunday snippet submission for the Weekend writer Warriors (you can find the Snippet Sunday group on Facebook, too). Make sure you check out all Weekend writer Warriors participants, it's a fun way to find forthcoming books -- all genres welcome, there's something for everyone's tastes.
My knees are scraped, my hands are cut and bleeding, and yet as soon as I stand over the verge—the gorge below opening into the valley ahead—I get giddy with excitement.
The mesa looms hundreds of feet above the Yatelan plane, the land our father the Kawa River has given us to inhabit. The river travels across the mesa and then drops into our land, dissipating into the majestic beauty of the Bridal Veil Waterfalls. If I rise on my toes I can see them in the distance, the mist created by the water as it plunges down refracting into a million rainbows.
I smell the waterfall, the forest, the river. I smell the freedom of the wind in my hair and the sweat of the horses, waiting at the bottom of the gorge. Taeh whinnies, her hooves thumping against dry sand. Impatiently.
This is from my new YA project, you can read the beginning of the chapter up to this point here.
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Ooooh, this sounds interesting :D Hard to pick a favorite line, but this one was great, "If I rise on my toes I can see them in the distance, the mist created by the water as it plunges down refracting into a million rainbows." It helps set the mood for the scene. I'm not sure what to make of the context though? I read your beginning, and you have a nice set-up. Beginnings are so hard to do well, so kudos on that :) Looking forward to reading more ^^
ReplyDeleteGreat visuals. :) Loving this story. :)
ReplyDeleteI love your descriptions. you write them very well.
ReplyDeleteThat last paragraph was amazing, I really could picture seeing all of it! Great snippet.
ReplyDeleteTerrific description, really drew me into the setting.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful imagery, Elena. And the hints of the story to come are drawing me in. Nicely done :-)
ReplyDeleteWell done. You have me giddy with excitement as well as impatient for more.
ReplyDeleteThis is simply gorgeous, Elena. Now I know what she wants to fly over it--so much beauty!
ReplyDeleteLove the attention to detail and description. Beautiful, lyrical language. Well done!
ReplyDeleteYour imagery is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like a wonderful place she has been waiting for for a long time. I'm glad she almost arrived.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful description of the land and her emotions about living there. Excellent excerpt!
ReplyDeleteI visualized the setting and her when she said "...if I rise on my toes..." Great detail!
ReplyDeleteThat's a wonderful passage. I could feel the emotions she was experiencing.
ReplyDeleteThat snippet tingled all of my senses, especially smell. I'm worried about her knees and hands. She's handling the pain really well.
ReplyDeleteWonderful imagery!!
ReplyDeleteI like how the description of the scenery ties into the character's beliefs and emotions. It makes it very rich and interesting.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE the descriptions in this scene. I almost feel like I'm standing there myself! (Much better than sitting at my desk at work, lemme tell you.) :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for sharing! :-)
I love the snippets, and look forward to Sundays :-)
ReplyDeleteAnna from Shout with Emaginette