From GENE CARDS, Chapter 1:
The blue bar inched forward -- thirty percent download.The above is my Sunday snippet submission for the Weekend writer Warriors (you can find the Snippet Sunday group on Facebook, too). Make sure you check out all Weekend writer Warriors participants, it's a fun way to find forthcoming books -- all genres welcome, there's something for everyone's tastes.
Orange light pooled through the electrochromic windows and drew jagged lines across the walls. Outside, helicopter blades swooshed closer. Yulia waved a hand in front of the switch sensor and the glass went from opaque back to transparent. She watched the chopper—a Sikorsky quadcopter—maneuver through the sky. Thick billows of smoke enveloped it.
A red, angry sun watched with her.
Sirens blasted in the distance, a megaphone barked down the street.
Download the first chapter of GENE CARDS here. You can also enter the Goodreads giveaway to win one of two signed copies! Thanks for visiting!
Well developed sense of urgency.
ReplyDeleteA feeling of possible doom.
I especially liked the personification of the sun.
Well done!
thanks, Frank!
DeleteLove the cover. I sense the urgency of whatever is happening. Nice 8.
ReplyDeletethank you Zelda!
DeleteVery intense. My first thought was can't that download go faster already. So many things seem to be happening outside. I hope she won't get in trouble.
ReplyDeletethanks Linda, she is in trouble already :-)
DeleteI'm feeling her need to hurry and seeing an accident about to happen. Great writing!
ReplyDeletethanks so much, Gem!
DeleteTalk about dropping us into a scene! Beautiful imagery---and that infuriating little blue bar sets the urgency of the moment all by itself.
ReplyDeleteAwesome!
so happy you like it, Sarah, thank you!
DeleteFantastic opening here, had me biting my nails. Excellent eight!
ReplyDeletethanks, Millie!
DeleteGreat atmosphere here. You can feel the sense of urgency and tension.
ReplyDeletethank you Elaine!
DeleteTense and immediately the reader is invested in the scene, waiting for that darn download to hurry UP! Loved all the description, highly effective excerpt. I need more!
ReplyDeletethanks so much Veronica! there will be more! :-)
DeleteVery intense. Always enjoy your snippets.
ReplyDeleteGreat 8. some fantastic descriptions .. love these: Orange light pooled through the electrochromic windows and drew jagged lines across the walls. Outside, helicopter blades swooshed closer.
ReplyDeleteWow, fantastic opening!
ReplyDeleteThe sense of HURRY UP, DAMN IT is very clear. I loved this story. :)
ReplyDeletePowerful, intense and so much more. What happens next? I'll tune in next week.
ReplyDeleteGood stuff. The reader really gets the sense of time passing-- slowly. It's easy to follow your character's eyes as they take in everything around them.
ReplyDeleteFantastic visuals. Really great writing. Can't wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteGreat snippet! Made my heart start to race in eight sentences, well done!
ReplyDeleteGreat use of the senses, Elena, and marvelous descriptive writing. My fave: "A red, angry sun watched with her." :-)
ReplyDeleteGreat description and atmosphere!
ReplyDeletethank you all so much for the lovely comment! Gene Cards is coming next week !
ReplyDelete