Debunking myths on genetics and DNA

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Sunday Snippet: Gene Cards




From GENE CARDS, Chapter 1:
The blue bar inched forward -- thirty percent download.
Orange light pooled through the electrochromic windows and drew jagged lines across the walls. Outside, helicopter blades swooshed closer. Yulia waved a hand in front of the switch sensor and the glass went from opaque back to transparent. She watched the chopper—a Sikorsky quadcopter—maneuver through the sky. Thick billows of smoke enveloped it.
A red, angry sun watched with her.
Sirens blasted in the distance, a megaphone barked down the street.
The above is my Sunday snippet submission for the Weekend writer Warriors (you can find the Snippet Sunday group on Facebook, too). Make sure you check out all Weekend writer Warriors participants, it's a fun way to find forthcoming books -- all genres welcome, there's something for everyone's tastes.

Download the first chapter of GENE CARDS here. You can also enter the Goodreads giveaway to win one of two signed copies! Thanks for visiting!

27 comments:

  1. Well developed sense of urgency.
    A feeling of possible doom.
    I especially liked the personification of the sun.
    Well done!

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  2. Love the cover. I sense the urgency of whatever is happening. Nice 8.

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  3. Very intense. My first thought was can't that download go faster already. So many things seem to be happening outside. I hope she won't get in trouble.

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    1. thanks Linda, she is in trouble already :-)

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  4. I'm feeling her need to hurry and seeing an accident about to happen. Great writing!

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  5. Talk about dropping us into a scene! Beautiful imagery---and that infuriating little blue bar sets the urgency of the moment all by itself.

    Awesome!

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    1. so happy you like it, Sarah, thank you!

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  6. Fantastic opening here, had me biting my nails. Excellent eight!

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  7. Great atmosphere here. You can feel the sense of urgency and tension.

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  8. Tense and immediately the reader is invested in the scene, waiting for that darn download to hurry UP! Loved all the description, highly effective excerpt. I need more!

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    1. thanks so much Veronica! there will be more! :-)

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  9. Very intense. Always enjoy your snippets.

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  10. Great 8. some fantastic descriptions .. love these: Orange light pooled through the electrochromic windows and drew jagged lines across the walls. Outside, helicopter blades swooshed closer.

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  11. The sense of HURRY UP, DAMN IT is very clear. I loved this story. :)

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  12. Powerful, intense and so much more. What happens next? I'll tune in next week.

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  13. Good stuff. The reader really gets the sense of time passing-- slowly. It's easy to follow your character's eyes as they take in everything around them.

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  14. Fantastic visuals. Really great writing. Can't wait to read more.

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  15. Great snippet! Made my heart start to race in eight sentences, well done!

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  16. Great use of the senses, Elena, and marvelous descriptive writing. My fave: "A red, angry sun watched with her." :-)

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  17. thank you all so much for the lovely comment! Gene Cards is coming next week !

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