tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post6892548898462005637..comments2024-02-26T21:18:23.165-08:00Comments on CHIMERAS: Sunday Snippet - GENE CARDSAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09922888671399516573noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-6339871549264390262014-09-22T22:02:33.704-07:002014-09-22T22:02:33.704-07:00thanks so much everyone for the kind comments! ano...thanks so much everyone for the kind comments! another four weeks and you'll all find out! ;-)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09922888671399516573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-24931946129362258392014-09-22T21:56:32.559-07:002014-09-22T21:56:32.559-07:00I love it. I wonder why he ended up there though. ...I love it. I wonder why he ended up there though. Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13346034896296813841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-12664073333219138342014-09-22T08:58:23.920-07:002014-09-22T08:58:23.920-07:00Awesome. Can't wait to read more.Awesome. Can't wait to read more.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13837948914402096224noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-28757444942151774562014-09-22T04:48:04.760-07:002014-09-22T04:48:04.760-07:00Oh, poor Julian!
I don't know yet if he's...Oh, poor Julian!<br /><br />I don't know yet if he's a hero or a sympathetic villain, but I'm already on his side. Sarah Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13265589529909793312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-27161559345369446782014-09-21T22:19:00.923-07:002014-09-21T22:19:00.923-07:00Amazing descriptions. Can't wait for next week...Amazing descriptions. Can't wait for next week.Ceciliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07076648307785084672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-17722367155759471962014-09-21T21:55:01.044-07:002014-09-21T21:55:01.044-07:00Love the emotional impact of the words that you ca...Love the emotional impact of the words that you captured with 8! Definitely, pulls the reader into the moment. <br /><br />Juneta keyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08815758043024184034noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-67150991811931619672014-09-21T18:36:37.302-07:002014-09-21T18:36:37.302-07:00I love short sentences and analogies.
This one is ...I love short sentences and analogies.<br />This one is great: " the screams haunting the hallways like drunken ghosts."FCEtierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14199098303138353894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-12417973866210840852014-09-21T18:09:02.370-07:002014-09-21T18:09:02.370-07:00thank you all so much for the lovely comments! Jul...thank you all so much for the lovely comments! Julian's very sick... which is why his sister has to break him out of jail before he dies.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09922888671399516573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-7780830071625437532014-09-21T18:07:38.114-07:002014-09-21T18:07:38.114-07:00so sorry to hear that, LuAnn :-(so sorry to hear that, LuAnn :-(Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09922888671399516573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-1494925810081756292014-09-21T18:06:41.498-07:002014-09-21T18:06:41.498-07:00I'm sorry you are dealing with chronic pain, t...I'm sorry you are dealing with chronic pain, that sucks :-( In fact, that's exactly what's causing my character the pain. He's imprisoned, but he's also very sick and suffers from these pain flairs, hence the last sentence... thanks so much for your lovely comment ! And thanks for the suggestion, I will edit accordingly. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09922888671399516573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-62236952116619744082014-09-21T16:37:51.983-07:002014-09-21T16:37:51.983-07:00Good writing.Good writing.Sue Ann Bowlinghttp://homecomingbook.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-1761791336252292752014-09-21T15:51:17.890-07:002014-09-21T15:51:17.890-07:00I agree about the short sentences, but I'm cur...I agree about the short sentences, but I'm curious about what's causing him so much pain.Elaine Cantrellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05668294337075373288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-45104143478565393472014-09-21T13:27:57.399-07:002014-09-21T13:27:57.399-07:00My husband's father deals with chronic severe ...My husband's father deals with chronic severe pain. Aside from a partial amputation of his right leg, he has debilitating headaches and surgery on both shoulders in the last two years. He apparently takes the same pain meds as do cancer patients. He's also stubborn as h-e-double-toothpicks. I have no idea how he keeps his sanity. I would be long gone if I'd suffered as much as he does.LuAnn @ BackPorchervationshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01775630749079885915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-5998726147345725242014-09-21T13:26:38.288-07:002014-09-21T13:26:38.288-07:00This was great :D Your descriptions are lovely. ...This was great :D Your descriptions are lovely. It's a dark scene and your words make it come to life. I live with chronic pain due to a genetic disease, and it certainly feels like my body is a prison at times. That's an apt description! I'm curious about why he's in pain. It sounds like he's being imprisoned for some reason :(<br /><br />"His lungs freeze, his throat gags for air." Something about this strikes me as a bit off. The throat gagging for air. Gagging is more of a choking action while gasping is struggling to breathe. Also, it sounds a bit off that his throat is gasping, I don't know why. I would rephrase it like, "His lungs freeze, and he gasps for air." <br /><br />Great snippet :) Thanks for sharing!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-24434808913777625262014-09-21T13:25:11.351-07:002014-09-21T13:25:11.351-07:00Grim but extremely effective. You don't waste ...Grim but extremely effective. You don't waste a single word and the impact is stunning. Great 8!Veronica Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04732940088047026021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-74961030355453540832014-09-21T13:21:16.576-07:002014-09-21T13:21:16.576-07:00"Pain is his harshest prison."
This 8 i..."Pain is his harshest prison."<br /><br />This 8 is so powerful Elena! Bravo! :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-307576502888624982014-09-21T10:57:52.967-07:002014-09-21T10:57:52.967-07:00Wonderful snippet -- really drew me into the scene...Wonderful snippet -- really drew me into the scene. P.T.Wyanthttp://ptwyant.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-73462259026159405072014-09-21T09:55:38.263-07:002014-09-21T09:55:38.263-07:00Graphic descriptions, and I wonder what's caus...Graphic descriptions, and I wonder what's causing the pain.Botanisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12098709722475364465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-85362020401954196092014-09-21T09:50:55.740-07:002014-09-21T09:50:55.740-07:00It sounds grim for him!It sounds grim for him!William Kendallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00331324250821836822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-200214917681823112014-09-21T08:05:42.715-07:002014-09-21T08:05:42.715-07:00Those short tight sentences make it all very real....Those short tight sentences make it all very real. One doesn't wax eloquent when in mind-numbing pain : ) Well done. And, I'm curious what is causing him all that pain.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05551671528722336812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-85324923542940489292014-09-21T07:28:53.887-07:002014-09-21T07:28:53.887-07:00Wonderful descriptions of the pain he's going ...Wonderful descriptions of the pain he's going through. I agree with Gem. I love the last line.Karen Michelle Nutthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04083893569523248900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-5547365058479303822014-09-21T07:13:12.809-07:002014-09-21T07:13:12.809-07:00I like the way you describe the pain with short se...I like the way you describe the pain with short sentences that moves the passage forward with a sense of the words punching him further with each syllable. I like your style.<br /><br />http://joycelansky.blogspot.comCatch My Wordshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06338761214938263819noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7447544468792389936.post-76455233082270851322014-09-21T04:40:13.632-07:002014-09-21T04:40:13.632-07:00Good line--"Pain is the harshest prison."...Good line--"Pain is the harshest prison." Gem Sivadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01233835029255570402noreply@blogger.com